R Journey

It seems a little bit late in the game, but I know I need to record the events of the last few years. It has been an incredible journey and the fight of our lives. Now, I know when you put it into perspective of someone fighting cancer or some other terminal challenge, our situation is nothing. But the lessons that have been taught and grasped by our family should not be forgotten. This journey is not without purpose, if not many, and it is all a part of God's plan. His miracles should not be forgotten.

What I Read and Why

I find lately that I'm hungry to read. It comes in waves like my actual appetite. I have to have a craving for a good book. I'm not like some book lovers who are reading all the time. It comes, I read, I finish, and then I wait for the next inkling.

On rare occasions, I want fiction... something I can just get lost in, but the last few years have been filled with crisis that push me forward to wanting understanding and/or self improvement. 

Right now I am reading Longing for a Homeland by Lynn Anderson. It was a great steal at a local coffee shop, but its subject hit "home". After yearning to leave the west coast for nearly 25 years, I am sitting in the South and questioning, "Is this home?". The grass is greener here, but it isn't. I'm feeling displaced.

The other book I am reading (I switch off depending on my location or mood...) is The Mom I Want to Be by T.Suzanne Eller. This book was a gift from some one who knows my struggles better than any one. This is all about overcoming one's past and not repeating a family cycle of dysfunction... The story of my life. I'm eager to digest the whole thing.

During our trip across country, I found another book in a discount store that was a surprising treasure. It is called Lord Meet Me in the Laundry Room by Barbara Curtis. It was written by a recovering hippie who became a follower of Christ. Her submission to God caused her to turn from a life of destruction to become a blessed mother of 12 children (three adopted with Downs). What an awesome calling. She writes in simple, honest terms about her struggles... just my kind of gal. She was a good companion during our travels. She impacted me so much that I wrote her and told her so.

My fourth book in the stack is What Happens When Women Walk in Faith by Lysa TerKeurst. I started it right after Lord Meet Me... I finished one and slid right into the next. I sort of stole it. Well, lets just say I borrowed it, but I'm not sure when I'll give it back. My mother bought it for a relative and I asked to read it before she sent it. I think my mother forgot about it and I am a slow reader... or at least I take my time finishing books.

Mrs. TerKerust relates much of her book to the walk of the Israelites to the Promiseland as I did to our move across country. I struggled not to whine and doubt as they did, so I was curious to read her thoughts. I am in that very moment of my life practicing and being challenged in what it means to walk by faith... in the dark... without certainty... in the worst of circumstances... trusting God for my every need... really walking the talk. It is one thing to walk in the light and another thing to walk in the dark holding the hand of someone you've yet to meet face to face....and yet, 
He promises not to lead me to harm.

I value the wisdom of those who have gone before me. I am encouraged by their words and insights. That is why I read and it is a good thing. For now, these authors are my mentors, my friends, and my support group. I hope I will glean from their experiences and lessons learned and be able to encourage other women in their walks. 

When they too find themselves searching...
like that hunger in the night... that search in the fridge of life... with just a small beam of light...for that snack that hits the right spot... fills that need or answers that question... 
and gives a push toward a new day... hope for tomorrow... and allows them, you, me,...us 
to rest well knowing that we are not alone.  For there are many of us.... 
that read.

Joe on Joe

Some thing clicked in my little toddler's brain yesterday. At the same time his verbal and analytical skills jumped to the next level, so did his energy. It was scary. He now could connect that he did not want to go night-night and that he did not want to stay in his bed, and, even better, that he had the ability to throw his leg over the rail and get out of his bedroom now known to him as prison. No big deal. It was a simple decision... one that his mother did not see coming nor liked.

After a half a dozen attempts to change his mind, we played the game... when will Joey go to sleep. Now, his energy level may have been enhanced by "soba" (Josiah's word for soda). His brothers later confessed to giving him the evil substance, but by 4:30 am, we all doubted that any one could continue a caffeine buzz for that long.

No, Joe was enjoying his new found freedom and ultimate control of that freedom. Mom on the other hand was losing any small amount of control or freedom she ever thought she had...
very, very quickly.

Perhaps, tomorrow, I should try pouring a little water over his head and drink the end results and see if it gives me any kind of a pick me up. It just might work!

It's a good thing I really love the boy. :)